First off, this is a rough draft and it's still being revised. All comments appreciated and please tell me if you think something doesn't work.
Lost
We are the lost souls of tomorrow
We are the heroes of today
Forever we will live in sorrow
For those we laid to rest today
Never again will I get to see
my friends who gave it all for me
Friends who died there by my side
Friends who wanted to stay alive
We are the lost souls of tomorrow
We are the heroes of today
Forever we will live in sorrow
For those we laid to rest today
I am lost forever to myself
Forever found by no one else
Only by myself can I see
All my friends, my reality
We are the lost souls of tomorrow
We are the heroes of today
Forever we will live in sorrow
For those we laid to rest today
The only thing we've ever wanted
Was to go and be ourselves again
The only thing we've never gotten
Is to see our families and friends
We are the lost souls of tomorrow
We are the heroes of today
Forever we will live in sorrow
For those we laid to rest today
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3 comments:
It is very good, Mark.
Will others ever really understand?
God help you.
Love Cousin Pam
I really like it too. The 2 "friends" lines that are together sound off somehow. I think it may be the repeat of "friends." Other than that, I think you're clear. It's good.
h
I agree with Hawli, the second stanza is a bit awkward. Maybe there's a way to revise it with either punctuation or another word for "friend." At any rate, it's really great!
Tiff
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